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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Lost: The Epilogue - No Need to Buy the Box Set

Sawyer - on my nightstand
Yesterday the Lost: The Complete Collection box-set was released. With it was the much hyped 11 minute epilogue of Hurley and Ben running the island.

"New Man in Charge" was rumored to be a snapshot into life on the Island with Hurley at the helm. The end result does not seem to be as interesting as I had hoped.

In the interest of not wasting $194 for 11 minutes -- I think I will save my money for the Sawyer action figure pictured to the left-- I found the transcripts. You're welcome.


GLENN: How soon do you get those peas labeled?
HECTOR: I don't know. Couple hours.
GLENN: Hurry it up, man. I already got the rest of the palette loaded.
HECTOR: I don't know why you're always in such a hurry.
GLENN: That's why. We're gonna miss our launch window. I don't wanna be up half a night loading damn boxes.
BEN: Excuse me.
GLENN: Who the hell are you? How'd you get in here?
BEN: My name is Benjamin Linus. I'm from the Home Office.
HECTOR: Nobody from the Home Office has ever come out here.
BEN: There's a new man in charge, he sent me.
GLENN: Sent you to do what?
BEN: Tie up a few loose ends. Your services are no longer required, gentlemen. We're closing this place down. So, you're free to go.
HECTOR: But we've been loading the palettes under the drones for 20 years now.
GLENN: What are we supposed to do?
BEN: This is your severance pay. I'd say you can do pretty much anything you want.
GLENN: So, you work with the Dharma Initiative?
BEN: The Dharma Initiative hasn't existed in almost 20 years.
HECTOR: That's not true. We still get a teletype before every drop.
BEN: It's automated. Comes from the Lamppost station in LA. There hasn't been a person posted there since you two started. That's why the man in charge has me going around, closing up shop.
GLENN: Lamppost station?
BEN: I've already said more than I should've. Before you leave, please lock the doors, turn out the lights.
HECTOR: Wait. You can't just walk out of here. We deserve answers!
BEN: All right. Before I go, I'll let you each ask a question. But just one. So, make it count.
GLENN: Where have we been sending these palettes? Where are they dropped?
BEN: An island.
GLENN: How's that possible? The coordinates are different every time.
BEN: The island moves.
GLENN: How does the island...
BEN: Uh-uh! One question. Your turn.
HECTOR: We're on Guam. So this island is somewhere in the tropics, right? So explain this. Polar bear biscuits. How is there a polar bear on a tropical island?
BEN: Polar bears, actually. Plural. You guys have a DVD player?

BEN: So we watch it together and then we all leave. Is that a deal?
GLENN: Deal.
BEN: Sorry about the quality. It's a transfer from an old Betamax.
CHANG: Hello, I am Dr. Pierre Chang. This is the orientation video for station one of the Dharma Initiative, the Hydra. For purposes of security, please do not divulge my name to any outside parties. I wouldn't want to have to resort to using an alias in the future. The chief purpose of this station is to conduct biological and behavioral research on various animal, bird and marine subjects. Here are some of the duties you may be asked to perform. Genetic alteration. These fascinating hybrids, or "hy-birds" as we call them, will be released and monitored to see how they adapt to the unique properties of the island... successful advanced studies in larger mammals. Ursus maritimus, or polar bears, possess a keen sense of memory and adaptability. These traits make them ideal candidates for electromagnetic studies that will be conducted at a secondary site where their comfort in cold temp.. It's important when dealing with the bears that you do not show affection or become attached in any way. Also, do not underestimate their intelligence and cunning. These rules must always be followed. I repeat, the bears are not your friends. Rewarding the bear with a fish biscuit, once it has successfully performed a complex puzzle. After the training is completed, you will tranquilize the bear. Affix this tracking device around the subject's neck. At which point it will be transported to the Orchid station for the next phase of research. Remember, be sure to confirm that the female bears have not been impregnated before transport, as the electromagnetic levels at the Orchid have an extremely harmful effect on early term gestation. As you've already learned, we do animal research here at Hydra. Unfortunately, one must consider the most dangerous animal of all, humans. And so, there is another more secluded test site, where we are conducting significantly more sensitive work. The island's indigenous population, some of you may have heard them referred to as "Hostiles", are acquired on the main island, sedated and brought here, to Room 23. Because the subjects are unwilling participants, security personnel should always be present during these sessions. Under no circumstances are you to engage subjects in conversation. The purpose of these interrogations is to better understand the Hostiles' way of life, their origins, and particularly their worship of an island deity they refer to as "Jacob". After the research team has concluded their tests, inject this into the back of the subject's neck. Then place these goggles over his or her eyes. Hitting this switch will commence the visualization while the drugs take effect. The dream-like quality of the film combined with the cutting edge pharmaceuticals will create an amnesia of sorts Any memory of his or her interrogation will be effectively wiped clean. While these interrogative measures may seem extreme, rest assured, they are vital...our temporary truce with the Hostiles is not violated. This concludes your orientation of the Hydra station. Do not discuss the nature of these experiments with other members of the Initiative. Enjoy your time here on Hydra Island. Namaste and good l...
HECTOR: I think we're gonna need to see that again.
BEN: Sorry, we're out of time.
HECTOR: What did they do to those bears? And what the hell's a "Hostile"?
BEN: Goodbye, gentlemen. I have another call to make. Namaste.

BEN: Hello, I'm here to see Keith Johnson.
NURSE: Are you on his visitor's list?
BEN: No. But I'm sure if you give him this note, he'll want to see me.

BEN: Hello, Walt.
WALT: What are you doing here?
BEN: Like my note said, a friend of yours sent me.
WALT: I don't have any friends.
BEN: We all have friends. Even me.
WALT: You here to kidnap me again?
BEN: I'm genuinely sorry about that. But what's done is done. I can't change the past. I can only take responsibility for it. Walt, I understand what you've had to go through. I know the difficulties you've had pretending to be someone you're not. Walt, I'm here to help you.
WALT: Why?
BEN: Because you're special. And I bet nobody's told you that in a very long time.
WALT: What good does that do me?
BEN: We need you. You have work to do. Starting with helping your father.
WALT: My father's dead.
BEN: Doesn't mean you can't help him. Will you go with us, Walt?

BEN: Come on, it's OK. You ride shotgun.
WALT: Hurley.
HURLEY: It's great to see you, Walt.
WALT: I kept hoping one day somebody would come back for me. They said I was crazy.
HURLEY: You're not crazy, dude. Not even close. You just need to get back to the island, that's all. It's where you belong. It's where you've always belonged.
WALT: Why?
HURLEY: I wanna talk to you about a job. All right, Ben, let's get out of here. It's time for us all to go home.
(They keep pulling the full version from YouTube, but here's a sneak peek if you need a visual to go with the text)


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